Today’s my birthday. To tell you the truth, I was a bit apprehensive of this one sneaking up on me.
So I guess it’s all downhill from here! Or is it?
Wait I’m getting ahead of myself … let me start with a little background. For the past couple of years if not longer, I have slowly convinced myself that my birthday doesn’t need to be a big deal. I mean, I am kind of old to decorate the house or wake up bouncing out of bed. But, what fun is that? If you are not even going to make a big deal for yourself, how can you expect others to do so and further more how freaking boring am I?
The truth is, I’m a little scared.
I can rationally understand that 36 years old is sooooo not old but 35 definitely sounded farther from 40 than this 36 does.
And so this morning at 4:30am when my little girl woke me up no longer able to contain her excitement for MY birthday something started to shift in me. Well that or the little sucker got into my psyche as I was in and out of consciousness during the following 2 hours of her one way conversation about what colour streamers and balloons, I would like.
My attitude needs an adjustment!
Yours truly, 1979
Somewhere along the line, I got too serious for my own good and it is not serving me well. There is a time for everything and being carefree should take on a larger role in my life. Yes, being a control freak and trying to predict every outcome is taking it’s toll on me and it’s making me old. Not my age, my attitude. Yesterday as I photographed the wedding of Jodie & Rohan in a picture perfect whistler setting. In turn they revealed their vows to one another, witnessed by their circle of Australian friends who flew in for their special day.
Jodie looked straight into Rohan’s eyes and said: ” Rohan, since I have met you, you have showed me that the most important thing in life is to smile….. to trust that everything will work out because it always does as long as you love and are being loved…and so today and for the rest of our lives, I choose to live by those sayings”. There was such a raw vulnerability in her words, at that moment the words struck a chord in me. I knew that if she was able to let go and simply trust “it” that I should too. There was a sense of relief, a freedom and a smile that immediately followed her statement.
Later at dinner, their 14 year old niece spoke of what family truly meant to her: ” To be family, you don’t necessarily need to share the same DNA or genetics, you need to show up, you need to love unconditionally and without judgement”. Even if you live across the country from you biological family, it doesn’t mean you don’t have family close by. This gorgeous teenager actually reminded me of how fortunate I was to have built such an incredible “family” of my own in my home away from home, in this incredible community.
And so this morning after dropping my girl at school promising her a big birthday party for me tonight, I took a moment to dip back into memory lane and found these images that sealed the deal on switching my attitude of this upcoming year. Nothing like old photographs to remind you the essence of life.
Mom, Uncle Jaco and I, 1980
I was smiling and carefree!
You might also like
March 16, 2013
September 13, 2016